Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Taking comfort and having hope in the Word of God

It's been about 5 months since Elyse passed and there are days when certain sights, sounds and smells can trigger a string of painful memories. Times like these make our stomachs twist and turn. Mourning the loss of our Elyse has its ups and downs. We have our good days and bad days. Throughout the process we have sought guidance and comfort from each other and from several books on grieving. After reading 'Safe in the Arms of God' by John MacArthur, I thought....hmmmm...wouldn't it be great to talk to someone who can offer biblical counseling in much the same way the book does. I contacted Grace Community Church where John MacArthur is a senior pastor. The staff pastor there connected us to a wonderful pastor who was willing to meet with us for a few sessions. Our first meeting yesterday was encouraging and gave us hope for the future. It was also painful to recount what happened to Elyse. We were reminded that despite the pain we carry we should still strive to be good stewards of God. Also, despite how difficult it may be, we should trust in God's sovereignty. He offered this verse...

"He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he." (Deut.32:4).

He also offered several verses of comfort,"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."(Philippians 4:6-9)

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:15-16)

The pastor also gave us a book entitled 'Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts' by Jerry Bridges. I just started reading the first few pages and I would recommend it to everyone who is experiencing adversity in their lives on any level.

We shed some tears but we left the meeting encouraged and strengthened by the Word of God. We are looking forward to meeting with the pastor again sometime in April.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

A busy week

I hope you are staying healthy. Tim caught a nasty cold bug last week and is finally feeling better. By Wednesday, Erin was having the same symptoms. So while Faith spent the morning with our nanny, Tim, Erin and I went to urgent care. Turns out, Tim has an ear infection along with a cold. Erin's diagnosis: possible strepthroat. She was put on antibiotics. Wednesday evening, Faith has a runny nose and fever. Thursday, I'm back at the doctor's office with Faith. Her diagnosis: probably caught the same thing that dad has. On Saturday we noticed red dots on her body. I talked to an on-call nurse and was told to have her seen by a doctor at urgent care. So I was back at urgent care with Faith on Sunday afternoon. Faith's diagnosis: the same virus that made her sick caused the rash also. I am looking forward to things normalizing again.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

New Pictures Added

Faith and Erin are growing so fast. Hope you enjoy the new photos.


Rearranging the nursery


I am really happy that the girls' bedtime has been moved up to 8pm. One night last week, Tim and I watched an entire movie (from beginning to end !) without interruption. That was quite a treat. If you haven't seen 'Pursuit of Happiness', I highly recommend it. It was heartbreaking to see what Will Smith's character had to go through but what a tremendous success story. It was inspiring.

When we had Elyse, she spent her nights in our room and Faith and Erin slept in the nursery with either my mom or mother-in-law. With Elyse no longer with us, Tim and I decided to handle Faith and Erin's nighttime wakings on our own. At 8-months-old, they were still waking up night after night. To avoid one disturbing the other, we started to have one sleep in our room and one in their nursery. This seemed to help a bit. When we started to sleep-train, we decided to finally have them sleep in their own room. Initially, I was worried that they would continue to wake each other but it's really not a problem anymore. Their nighttime wakings have decreased probably due to their regular wake/sleep times.

After Tim and I was done rearranging the nursery, we were overwhelmed with sadness remembering what the nursery originally looked like with three cribs. We have so many things in 3's as you can imagine - 3 mobiles, 3 cribs, 3 boppies, 3 bath robes, etc. I suppose some of the baby gear we don't use anymore we can either donate or sell them on craigslist. It's heartrending to think about parting with anything that Elyse used or touched. I hope that this subsides over time. After all, they're only material things with sentimental value because I give them that value. For now though, this is where I am.

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